I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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