so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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