The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize