What a fucking waste of an outfit
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
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i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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