My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize