So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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