Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize