i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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