Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
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omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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