She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
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I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
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You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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