from now on my penis is your penis
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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