For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
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i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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