I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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