I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
3 2 1 whiskey
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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