he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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