I looked at my own cervix.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
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I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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