i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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