The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
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Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
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I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize