How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I understand Curling. That high.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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