don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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