This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
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Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The uberlube is also flammable
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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