guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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