I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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