His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize