I puked a lego.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize