I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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