I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There r osticjed everywhere
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize