ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize