Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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