Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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