sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i need an iv and a liver transplant
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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