You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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