We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize