my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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