she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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