gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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