You're my little dorito
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize