singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
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i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
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when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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