Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
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I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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