Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Your penis caused this!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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