tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize