More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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