absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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