Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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