Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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