i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize