you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm passing your future prison.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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