nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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