My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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