Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize